God LOVES Variety

17 12 2009

There aren’t a lot of Jews in Guyana. In fact I think there are roughly about 5 ½ of us and we are all Peace Corps Volunteers. It’s not really that big of a deal, but it’s funny trying to explain to people what it means to be Jewish. I live in an area of Guyana that is very Christian, by that I mean there are 5 churches within a 50 foot radius of my house (not all that different from where I grew up really). Sunday mornings are spectacular! It’s like I get my very own personal Christian rock/gospel concert in surround sound. If I’m really lucky I can hear the pastor and church member’s speaking in tongues. You might think that it’s too much Jesus for this Jewish girl, but to be honest I have come to look forward to Sunday mornings, however it’s the Monday through Saturday mornings that I have some problems with. My house is connected to a bakery, which is really a fantastic thing for the most part. I get fresh bread, butterflaps, tennis rolls, and salara every afternoon at 4:00. The family that runs the bakery has adopted me as one of their own and I refer to the owner, Collin, as my Guyanese uncle. Collin is a good Christian man, and like any good Christian man in Guyana Collin rocks out to some serious gospel. I don’t really have a problem with Collin rocking out to the gospel, however Collin rocks out to his gospel EVERY morning from around 5:30 until 8:00 when I leave the house to go to work. It could be worse, I could be woken up by unbelievably loud and upbeat Chutney music, or some dirty Dancehall (don’t get me wrong I LOVE dancehall, but the lyrics of a lot of those songs are seriously inappropriate). I have spoken to Collin about possibly changing up the music variety. I have suggested that two days a week he play oldies from 5:30-8:00 and after I leave for work he can switch back to gospel, but the man won’t budge. I have tried to use the argument that God LOVES variety, why else would there be people of all different colors, speaking all different kinds of languages, singing all different kinds of music, and practicing all different kinds of religions? But according to Collin, his God does not like variety and wants him to listen to gospel first thing in the morning every morning. I of course threw a miniature temper tantrum and made threats to sing Whitney Houston songs at the top of my lungs while in the shower to offset the Jesus joy. As most of you know, only Whitney can sing Whitney songs, the rest of us mere mortals can’t, and shouldn’t even try to sing any of her songs. Now, I can at least carry a tune, but the point of picking Whitney Houston as opposed to Madonna or Britney, is that my singing would be so terrible I could get the dogs of the neighborhood to join in, and this could potentially make 15 minutes of Collin’s morning a little miserable (not the most mature thing to do, I know, but desperate times call for desperate measures). So imagine my sheer joy and surprise two days ago when I woke up to not gospel, but Whitney Houston’s Greatest Hits blaring through my bedroom window! I immediately had to go down to see Collin in the bakery and thank him profusely for blessing my ears with the change and variety I had been praying for these last few months. He just laughed at me and my excitement, but I truly think it was divine intervention on this joyous and blessed Chanukah. Here is wishing all of you a wonderful, joyous, and gospel free Chanukah!

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5 responses

17 12 2009
Lucy Page

Hello sweet Liza! I was just reading your post and realized poor Yoffi must be so confused by our Christmas celebration! She’s been raised Jewish! we’ll have to find a way to make her feel included!
I hope you are having a wonderful Chanukah!
Love, Lucy

18 12 2009
fixingthehole

Don’t worry Lucy, Yoffi has been raised Jewish but the girl LOVES any and all holidays! Wishing you and the family a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Love, Liza

17 12 2009
Ang

oh Liza.. you’re amazing at writing… this made me laugh so much… thanks again for the great hanukkah dinner… I”ll always remember my first guyanese hanukkah….

love,
ang

18 12 2009
Mom

You are just too funny. Whitney would be proud to know that she was responsibile for advancing international relations. Frankly though, if I were Collin and a seriously religious man and I received such a threat/warning involving someone other than Whitney singing Whitney I would have seen it as close to an apocalyptic warning and would have changed the music too. You are not only a great Peace Corp Volunteer but an angel sent from above to warn the sinners of the potentially earth shattering (and in this case ear shattering) terrible things to come. Keep up the good work Jewish Girl! Love ya. Mom

20 12 2009
christopher

Liza dear, I love reading this! My immediate reaction is to wonder how the ants react to your Whitney, or to the other Whitney, or to the gospel for that matter. Darn it, I want to know what the bugs down there listen to, and do they shake handsomely gifted booty to it? Miss you tons and feeling greatly fortunate to be so informed and graciously attached. The girls send their love, and would probably drool at the bling in your local markets. Shalom, Christopher

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